Servers - Clients - Networks

Sounds good, huh?? It's fully installed and working now! I'll be
going out  for a 42 week vacation now and I have no
Internet access of any kind during that time.

Hope to hear it worked well!


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 2 Apr 1998 18:26:42 +0300 (EET DST)
From: Ville Hakomaki 
Subject: Re: foul language

> Hi

> Tapping into conversations with lusers to check if theres
> swearing?


thank you for your concern with this matter.

We are proud to announce that we have at last succesfully built a
functioning, fully RFC1459 -compliant 2.9.5+nocuss2 patch. It has
been specifically designed with this network  in mind and it adds
features nobody had yet even dreamt of!

It is the  perfect means of curbing out all swearing and suchlike,
not only because of its efficiency, but also for its ease of use:

This patch does not  require everybody  in the  network to run it,
one server is enough!

Our new technology  (patent  pending) can, single-handedly,  take
care of all  traffic  seen in this IRC network.  Negotiations are
ongoing to have all this fully Microsoft certified by early June.

By the time you  are reading  this message, we will  already have
installed this  patch on our new server,

It is located in the IP-block (securely firewalled) and
running Linux 2.0.42 (goverment internal use, only).

We are extremely pleased with the fact  that this Network Upgrade
does not require you, or anybody else, to perform  any changes at
any other nodes.  In fact, this  single  server will  benefit the
network as a whole, and it even manages to do it rather carefully
and politely.

I have enclosed the brief README file that comes accompanied with
this patch here for your reviewal.

>> doc/README.1ST (by Matthew Soft)

Copyrights and acknowledgements:
	This patch  was built  in extensive  cooperation with the
	Finnish law-enforcement  agencies and  "Save the Kiddies"
	organization, as funded by EFF.

	Coding and this README.1ST file:
		(C) M.S. ( 1998-

Installation and notes:
	(1) Link one new  server to your network,  make sure it's
	    running the most recent version of the +nocuss2 patch,
	    and check everything is running properly.

	(2) Add a polite banner to your MOTD:  "THIS  SERVER  HAS

	    This will scare off the majority of the abusers. It's
	    also been  found to help out  if you  intensify  this
	    brilliant message with 20-30 ^G beep-signals.  Twenty
	    seconds of continuous PC-beeping  has been said to be
	    the absolute minimum.

	(3) Announce this  new  patch  on your  network's  public
	    mailing-list to gain more  attention to  the  growing --
	    always as critical and urgent issue of -- swearing.

		[Wahey, I just did that now --viha]

	(4) Remind  all   other   hub-administrators  and  server-
	    operators  to add C/N lines supporting direct linkage
	    to this new server to make sure nobody can curse ever,
	    anywhere, even  if your one primary uplink does crash.


	* Added the long-awaited #define for GLINE_ALL_CUSSERS.

	  This exceptionally useful option ensures that no IRC-op
	  can swear any more than any regular user of the network

	  Not only does this feature limit  the IRC-op-over-power,
	  but it also  provides other functionality.  Among other
	  more  important  additions, it  has the  capability  of
	  performing   Artificial  Intelligence  verification  of
	  suspected cuss-words.

	  This extravagant A/I feature is based on new technology,
	  at times referred to pattern-matching:

	  All sentences that  are detected to match either *f* or
	  alternatively *k*, are filtered.

	  If the software  finds an utterly  malicious user in an
	  attempt of  using one  of these  two letters  twice the
	  same  day,  it  will  automatically  G:line   his  full
	  IP-block  for  disobedience.  All  this  is  done  with
	  absolutely no need for operator-intervention.  Also, to
	  avoid confusion,  the QUIT message  says 'Ping timeout'
	  and the user  is  not notified about  the incident, and
	  his client given no notification about disconnection.

	  To elude  unnecessary screen-scroll,  no operators  are
	  notified  by  this  program   about  any  action  taken

This option is enabled by default.  The current  software-version
does not support --force-override for this function. You may want
to check  out the new, improved  version  of +nocuss that will be
available later, which may  have  the functionality  of disabling
this functionality.

	* Improved kill_potential_abusers() [KPA].

	  This new patched  function checks all sentences sent by
	  the user for one or more capital  letters in them. This
	  is,  naturally,  done  in  order  to  prevent  possible
	  flooding or yelling.

	  All users offending against this rule are automatically
	  banned from their current channel with  the nickname of
	  a random  channel-operator  with  the kick  reason "you
	  suck, loser."

	  Again,  to   prevent  confusion,   the  channel-op  who
	  practically talking kicked the culprit himself,  is not
	  shown this  channel  kick.  All  IRC-traffic  from this
	  culprit's  net-block to the  channel op's  net-block is
	  automatically ignored by the server, to reduce the need
	  for any unnecessary - possibly hostile - queries.

	  The "you suck, loser"  message is  only there  to avoid
	  confusion, and generally aims for the network's best.

	  Our newer  release,  which will  be much  improved  and
	  worth  buying  is not  out yet,
	  but will  provide 31338 insults  to choose from.  These
	  include such classics as "screw you!" and "yo mama..."

	  This release, however, does not yet offer these options,
	  but an update-deal will be made available for only four
	  thirds of the price of the retail-product.

	  These  insults,  according  to recent-- most convincing
	  psychological studies, as tested  by our local, skilled
	  yet  always  independent and  non-biased  staff-members,
	  have been  found to  produce excellent  results. 87% of
	  all children swearing, and then being kicked with these
	  messages,   studied  harder   and  98%  of  them  later
	  graduated with  top grades and  got jobs at well-paying
	  and honoured organizations, such as, here, with us.

User feedback:
	* Most feedback  we receive, as  pre-filtered  by our own
	  software, is extremely gracious at us for providing the
	  community at a large with such a fine product.

	  There was, however, one individual stating earlier that
	  "Your caps-detection engine is too strict!"

	  This is, as you all realize, a very shocking claim.

	  Even  that we   know this is  not true, we  yet wish to
	  serve our customers best, we are now offering, for your
	  comfort  a fully  TOGGLEable  option  for  enabling  or
	  disabling this caps_check -option.

	  These are the supported modes of operation:

			Eliminate all abusers using more than the
			normal two capitalized letters per day.

			This is the default.

			Eliminate all abusers using more than one
			capitalized letter per an hour.

	  As of version 1.9.0, it is also  possible to change the
	  state of  this setting  online - without  any  need  to
	  touch the  config-file  (patent for  this technology is
	  currently pending).

	  To eluge potential hazards  (ie. hackers gaining access
	  to just some servers),  changing this  setting requires
	  68 operators (or 65 of them at noon) to type:


	  To fully  protect the network  from  any administrative
	  accidents,  the command  must be typed  by each  one of
	  them within the 10 second time-limit.

	  If your network  has less than 68 (65)  operators, this
	  release will not provide this functionality for you. In
	  this case, you may want to upgrade to our newer version,
	  available  shortly, which  might have  support for even
	  the smallest  of all nets with  only 60-61 simultaneous

Miscellaneous features:
	(1) Autokilling  of all  clients  connecting with any non
	    alphabetical characters (a-z) in their nicknames.

	    Once again, to avoid confusion,  the client will keep
	    quitting with the message  'EOF From client'  until a
	    change of nickname is detected.

	    If this moronic user is stupid enough  to not realize
	    this is  because of  his nickname,  the  server  will
	    place  an invisible global  kill-line for this user's
	    size B  network-block.  The  reason-field  will  show
	    "Fuck you, you suck." Our new release,  which will be
	    out shortly,  taking servers to  the next  millennium,
	    will also provide support for user-defined, max eight
	    character long G:line reasons.

	    As mentioned,  to avoid confusion,  these G:lines are
	    invisible and unremovable.

	(2) For our children's safety, all words with the letters
	    a, e, i, u and o  are  interpreted  as  swearing  and
	    clients issuing these bad words will be automatically
	    terminated with an instant remote kill.  And in cases
	    of repetition,  a G:line  is  placed  in  the  manner
	    explained in KPA, chapter 1.

	(3) If   your   patched   server   receives   a  possibly
	    threatening server-jupiteration (JUPE) notice for its
	    own hostname,  it will  immediately  auto-collide all
	    users and operators  of the hub in question.  This is
	    immediately followed by an automated jupe for the hub
	    in question. The user-visible side will have an SQUIT
	    reason  of  'Connection  reset  by  peer'   and   the
	    collisions are fake-originated from a randomly chosen
	    open SOCKS-proxy.

	(4) To further  prevent abusers  from cussing  in foreign
	    languages  or with  to us still  unknown  words,  our
	    revolutionary patch will automatically /MSG all users
	    of the network "phuq u!@#"

	    This will be done using a random nickname.

	    We have found this an efficient way of verifying user-

	    The software now provides sufficient, advanced logics
	    for determining appropriate sanctions:

		Case A		: Answer to message received.

		Solution	: User  terminated.

		Cause		: Content  may   originally  have
				  been intended to be obscene and
				  thus  harmful  to  everybody in
				  the network.


		Case B		: No answer  received  within the
				  0.20 second time-limit.

		Solution	: User terminated.

		Cause		: Session  may have  been idle or
				  not under proper user-control.

	User termination  will utilize  a random operator-nick as
	found  from  a runtime  operator-listing,  and the reason
	field will contain the word "clonebot".

	This operator will not be notified, however.  There is no
	need to confuse him/her.

	After all, confusing people over  such a minor deal would
	be a bit nasty, wouldn't it...